Only half successfully combine sports and SF (3/5)
Of course I’ve read Effinger’s Budayeen trilogy—the first two
books, twice—but wasn’t terribly bowled over by the delivery of an otherwise
enticing premise. The same can’t be said for Idle Pleasures as not even
the premise sounded interesting, yet I still gave it a shot. The book’s
rear-cover synopsis was pretty ugly:
The
aliens’ first words were “Let’s play ball! [Sic: actually, the
first word was “yes” and the aliens only answer yes or no]”
·
Ice hockey with an entire planet for a
rink
·
A chess competition where the rules
change with every move
·
No-holds-barred basketball with the blue
Cobae
And
other stories from the Wide World of Sports by one of today’s most astonishing
Masters of Imaginative Fiction
Prior to reading, my first thoughts of a science fiction
collection about sports took two routes: (1) earthly sports taken to the
extreme or (2) playing earthly sports with aliens. Surely, both of these types
of stories are included in the collection, yet are actually the better of the
eight-story bunch; respectively, “Breakaway” has enough hard science fiction to
carry the weight of the sportsmanship theme while “From Downtown at the Buzzer”
actually made me laugh aloud at its absurdity.
Effinger remarks upon the difficulty of combining science
fiction with sports in the first story’s introduction:
Combing
the two genres in one story is so formidable a challenge that unless one is
truly in love with both forms, the finished product stands a good chance of
cheating the reader: either the story will be a pure sports story with
artificially applied science fiction gimmickry, or the story will be science
fiction all the way through and the sports aspect is neither essential not
relevant. The sports setting must be integral; the story should not be able to
function without it. The same must be true of the science fiction—otherwise the
author is not playing fair. (1)
Certainly this isn’t the best snapshot of Effinger’s short
work, which might be better captured in Mixed Feelings (1974), Irrational
Numbers (1976), or Dirty Tricks (1978), none of which I own.
------------
“Naked to the Invisible Eye” (novelette, 1973) – 4/5
In South Carolina, the stadium feels bleak as the season
winds down for a minor league baseball team. Some kid from Venezuela named Rudy
Ramirez is pitching and no one is expecting what’s about to happen: Rudy will
win the game for his team in a total of twenty-seven pitches—all strikes, no
swings. The Tigers’ manager, along with everyone else, is utterly baffled, but
not as much as Rudy when he’s taken off the rooster for the remaining games. A
deal is soon made against Rudy’s favor as he enters the major leagues and his
first game. 27 pages
“From Downtown at the Buzzer” (novelette, 1977) – 4/5
When a green-skinned, blue-suited alien arrives under the US
president’s nose while answering only closed questions, the administration is
left stupefied without a contingency plan. In the end, the alien and eleven
other members are shifted to a remote military base in Louisiana where only one
representative of the aliens continues to answer only yes/no questions. Their
interests remain neutral and nebulous until they become spellbound by a
basketball game. They take to it quickly to the astonishment of the soldiers,
but their secret is veiled. 19 pages
“The Exempt” (novelette, 1977) – 3/5
Wanting a change from New York ,
Hoyt Schermerhorn and his wife up and leave to New Orleans without any foresight aside from
finding a home. There, he changes his name and the two must get used to the
local ways of life, including the yet-to-be-explained “alternates” that
everyone else to know about. At the center of their city—their universe—they
are allowed to change certain aspects of their reality according to their
home’s notebook of so-called alternates. In a reality where Hoyt is stimulated
by running, mythological gods are also embodied. 17 pages
“25 Crunch Split Right on Two” (novelette, 1975) – 4/5
Having been widowed at a young age, a professional football
player has never truly recovered from this tragic, abrupt loss. The memory
haunts him until he finds a way to relive their moments together: through the
haze of pain. On the field and in scrimmage, he gives his athleticism 100% so
that when the pain comes, he can re-experience the look of her eyes and the
lilt of her voice. In his next game, however, he’s disappointed that he’s
unable to flashback; thus, he lets his guard down a little. 21 pages
“The Pinch Hitters” (shortstory, 1979) – 3/5
When five famous science fiction writers—Sandor, Norris,
Larry, Dick, and Jim—awaken after a convention to find themselves inside the
bodies of major league baseball players, chaos doesn’t ensue; rather, they
carefully go about their baseball lives, stay in contact with one another, and
figure out what had happened. Eventually, they pin their plight on the jealous,
vengeful heads of the science fiction mainstream; thus, they meet again with
only science fiction in mind and only science fiction in conversation as they
live as they would have, 11 pages
“Breakaway” (novelette, 1981) – 3.5/5
As if the three-square-mile ice rink weren’t enough, the
players of this particular form of hockey also have to contend with near zero
temperatures—zero Kelvin, The isolated rocky body offers a unusual playing
surface for the workers of humdrum deep-space life who otherwise lead a
terribly dull life. Zajac is one of the best players on his team and in the
league. As soon as the sprint for the punk begins, he’s strategizing and
skating circles—both literal and figurative—around the competition, until he’s frozen
into ice with an arm that needs amputating.
“The Horse with One Leg” (shortstory, 1974) – 3.5/5
On an Ohio
farm, when a foal is born with only one leg, a girl instantly sympathizes with
the unfortunate animal while her father wishes to shoot it dead. Against all
odds, the foal teaches itself to hop upon its single hoof, undoubtedly to the
amazement of everyone. The girl even takes to riding the animal, which
thoroughly impresses a retired horse breeder that wishes to purchase the horse…
to “run” in the upcoming derby.
As could be expected, the sad horse gets off to a slow start,
but against all odds yet again… 9 pages
“Heartstop” (novelette, 1974) – 1/5
Chlorophyll is in all products nowadays and it’s Newby who
begrudgingly has to be the traveling salesman who makes the pitch to such hick
towns as Gremmage , Pennsylvania . In a diner, he’s
exposed—again, begrudgingly—to the town’s folk, both simple and eccentric, the
most eccentric of whom is Old Man Durfee who challenges him to a game of chess.
After only a few tense and commentated moves, they wrap it up for the evening
and Newby retires to his room. Therein, some strange dreams occur, strange
incidences happen, and strange rules are added to the chess game. 47 pages
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